Last Entry
So, everyone knows, this is my last entry. It's nearing the deadline for my thesis. I've already turned in the rough draft. I still plan to continue with Tang Soo Do. I enjoy it very very much!! My orange belt test is coming up in a month and my confidence levels are back to normal. Yellowbelt was rough. Orangebelt is going much smoother! Learning Ee Dan Aph Cha Kee and Ee Dan Yup Cha Kee (jump front and jump side kick). I will include my summary of this journal. I really wish I had time to write something better and more substantial, but I don't. Only a week left! Here it is:
!!Tang Soo!!
The purpose of this journal was to see if, or how, the frailty myth affected my progress as a martial artist of Tang Soo Do. I have concluded upon four months of training and two belt rankings that the frailty myth has not hindered my progress in Tang Soo Do, as I hold a gender philosophy that does not hinder my development in an atmosphere that encourages physical and mental development.
I believe I can do anything and I think that, in large part, has allowed me to progress as I have in Tang Soo Do. I have never been one to think I was physically or mentally limited by being female. Although the frailty myth (or society) does hold some constraints on my movements and physicality, as a whole, if I know that these constraints are false and that, with work, can broken. The power of knowing this and dedication and desire to overcome these constraints has allowed me to be successful in my endeavor with the marital arts.
My past physical training has also proven very useful and I contribute a large part of my success to this as well. As a child I was involved in gymnastics, ballet, modern dancing, horse back riding, basketball, and poms. As an adolescent: volleyball and softball, and as an adult: knife and hatchet throwing, Yoga, Tai Chi, running and circuit/weight training. Throughout my experience in Tang Soo Do I have seen have the experience within these activities has greatly influenced my progress. Tai chi has helped me in learning and performing my forms (hyungs). Volleyball has helped me with my low stances and ki yups (or spirit yells). Ballet, modern dancing, and gymnastics have helped me with balance. My point is, I have had previous physical training; therefore, it makes learning new movements, although different, easier to learn. The better I understand my body, the more I can learn, and the less the frailty myth affects me. If I had not had previous training, learning to do martial arts movements would prove to be very difficult.
However, I do feel the frailty myth is with me on an everyday basis. In other words, when I am in an atmosphere where movement is encouraged and is the appropriate thing to do, I have no problem learning and performing (even if it’s difficult, I will get it eventually), yet, when I’m outside of class, within society, I feel that my movements are constricted. For instance, when I’m playing with my band, people often complain that I don’t move around enough. The boys tend to thrash around and get into their music, while I, on the other hand, stand there or move around very little. I want to move around, but something within me is keeping me from doing so. Part of the reason is I worry about messing up. I’m a perfectionist and don’t want to be known as such. Secondly, I feel that if I move around too much it’ll come off as sexual and I don’t want to be seen in that light. I also worry that I’ll look stupid. At one point I also thought it looked goofy to run in public, i.e., running from the house to the car to get something quickly, or running when I was late to class. Girls just didn’t run in public and I guess I subconsciously picked up on that. However, I realized that part of the problem is that I was wearing shoes I couldn’t run in, which may be a common hindrance in female movement.
Although these issues existed in my life, I believe that participating in Tang Soo Do has made me more confident in my body and these hang-ups aren’t so much hang-ups anymore. Tang Soo Do has allowed me to be more physical in front of others without fear that they’ll think I’ve changed too suddenly, or that I’m acting out of character, as they understand that as a martial artist I am bound to move around more than usual, and that my identity is changing from inactive to active.
While I believe I’m not completely free of the frailty myth, I believe I posses the tool to dispelling it within me for good. This key is my gender philosophy and my dedication to reaching my physical potential. With the knowledge of the frailty myth at the for front of my mind, and the problems it creates, I am able to see through it and adopt a gender philosophy which encourages physical development, rather than one that suppresses it.
!!Tang Soo!!
The purpose of this journal was to see if, or how, the frailty myth affected my progress as a martial artist of Tang Soo Do. I have concluded upon four months of training and two belt rankings that the frailty myth has not hindered my progress in Tang Soo Do, as I hold a gender philosophy that does not hinder my development in an atmosphere that encourages physical and mental development.
I believe I can do anything and I think that, in large part, has allowed me to progress as I have in Tang Soo Do. I have never been one to think I was physically or mentally limited by being female. Although the frailty myth (or society) does hold some constraints on my movements and physicality, as a whole, if I know that these constraints are false and that, with work, can broken. The power of knowing this and dedication and desire to overcome these constraints has allowed me to be successful in my endeavor with the marital arts.
My past physical training has also proven very useful and I contribute a large part of my success to this as well. As a child I was involved in gymnastics, ballet, modern dancing, horse back riding, basketball, and poms. As an adolescent: volleyball and softball, and as an adult: knife and hatchet throwing, Yoga, Tai Chi, running and circuit/weight training. Throughout my experience in Tang Soo Do I have seen have the experience within these activities has greatly influenced my progress. Tai chi has helped me in learning and performing my forms (hyungs). Volleyball has helped me with my low stances and ki yups (or spirit yells). Ballet, modern dancing, and gymnastics have helped me with balance. My point is, I have had previous physical training; therefore, it makes learning new movements, although different, easier to learn. The better I understand my body, the more I can learn, and the less the frailty myth affects me. If I had not had previous training, learning to do martial arts movements would prove to be very difficult.
However, I do feel the frailty myth is with me on an everyday basis. In other words, when I am in an atmosphere where movement is encouraged and is the appropriate thing to do, I have no problem learning and performing (even if it’s difficult, I will get it eventually), yet, when I’m outside of class, within society, I feel that my movements are constricted. For instance, when I’m playing with my band, people often complain that I don’t move around enough. The boys tend to thrash around and get into their music, while I, on the other hand, stand there or move around very little. I want to move around, but something within me is keeping me from doing so. Part of the reason is I worry about messing up. I’m a perfectionist and don’t want to be known as such. Secondly, I feel that if I move around too much it’ll come off as sexual and I don’t want to be seen in that light. I also worry that I’ll look stupid. At one point I also thought it looked goofy to run in public, i.e., running from the house to the car to get something quickly, or running when I was late to class. Girls just didn’t run in public and I guess I subconsciously picked up on that. However, I realized that part of the problem is that I was wearing shoes I couldn’t run in, which may be a common hindrance in female movement.
Although these issues existed in my life, I believe that participating in Tang Soo Do has made me more confident in my body and these hang-ups aren’t so much hang-ups anymore. Tang Soo Do has allowed me to be more physical in front of others without fear that they’ll think I’ve changed too suddenly, or that I’m acting out of character, as they understand that as a martial artist I am bound to move around more than usual, and that my identity is changing from inactive to active.
While I believe I’m not completely free of the frailty myth, I believe I posses the tool to dispelling it within me for good. This key is my gender philosophy and my dedication to reaching my physical potential. With the knowledge of the frailty myth at the for front of my mind, and the problems it creates, I am able to see through it and adopt a gender philosophy which encourages physical development, rather than one that suppresses it.
posted by Karen Jarboe at 8:44 PM
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