Day 10 - Yellow Belt

Well, I'm a yellowbelt now. I did not expect to test today. Master Miller sprung it on me (I wasn't supposed to test until the 26th)! Class was going as normal. After warmup exercises he told everyone else to move off to the side and told me to perform Kee Cho Hyung Il Bo. So I did thinking this was just a part of class. I had to perform it last class, and was a little off balance, but this class I did well. Next he asked me a bunch of questions about the Korean and United States Flag. I thought he was just preping me for the test. But when he asked one of the students to help me through a minute of pushups I kinda figured he was giving it to me then and there. I made it through. Pushups got a little difficult at the end, but I pushed through and did fine. Jack Knifes were somewhat difficult, but I also made it through, this time without fatiguing too much. I do them relatively slow, so I'm sure that helped. Next, he made me do the one steps with a student, and the hand escapes and self defense things. At this point I wasn't entirely sure if I was still taking the test. So, instead of practing the two I knew really well, I decided I needed to practiced the one step he showed me last week. Needless to say I didn't do 100%, but he's seen me do the others numerous times. I'm not entirely sure what we did next, but I think we learned break falls. I'm still not sure if this was part of the test. I learned it several classes ago, but it wasn't written as a requirement for the test. I'm kinda blanking on what happend next, but I think this is when I had to break a board. I was to use Aph Cha Kee, or a front snap kick. At this point I was for sure I was testing. When he brought the board out all I could do was smile. I was excited. Tensed up for a second, but knew I could do it. Broke it on the first try and didn't hesitate. I was very excited after that and couldn't stop smiling. He presented me with my yellow belt and did the ceremonial tying of the knot to my white belt, which signifies the end of my white belt training. So, that all happend very suddenly!!! But I'm glad he did it this way. He said he tested me early because he didn't want to hold me back any longer, but I think it just made it easier. I think I'd probably have been somewhat nervous if I had to do it next thrusday (the originally scheduled time).

When class was over a few people told me that that was the best performance of Kee Cho Hyung Il Bo they had ever seen from a white belt, and they told me they ment it too. They also told me I had a very very good Uph Cha Kee (side kick). So, I'm pretty excited and feel more confident in myself!!

Before class today I drank a soda. I rarely drink sodas and was hesitant to drink one as I knew I had Tang Soo Do (T.S.D) today. But I did anyway. I wanted something sweet and cheap, as a bit of comfort after a long day of class and homework. I was worried though, that it would affect my performance in T.S.D class today. Although I didn't think it had a direct effect on me, it made me realize that I should treat my body with respect everyday, as I never know when I'll need it to be at its peak. This week has also been kinda crudy as far as cardio goes. Perhaps if I had been more on top of my exercise despite trying to adjust to a new schedule, I would have done better. I also felt more intune with my body as I was driving home with the yellowbelt on. To break the board, one must not hesitate or think about what he/she is doing. One must do it seemlessly, with both the mind and body working together as one unit. I felt I had accomplished that today and felt more comfortable in my body. My body is integral to who I am. I am not seperate from it. Thus, I must respect it everyday of my life. If I loose a limb, or if I am paralysed, my body is still integral to who I am regardless, and it must be respected, even if I have to drag half of me everywhere I go, or even if I can't move a muscle (wow, that one would be very difficult). I am always attached to my body.

So, I'm well on my way to dispelling the frailty myth within me by becoming one with my body, rather than seeing it as an other, or as an ornamental object seperate from myself.

I'm going to have to end it here though. Good Night!

Ooh, by the way, the minimum number of classes before one can receive a yellowbelt is 8. I got it in 10. Must be doing something right!

Day 9

Alright, college started back today. So, these posts may get significantly shorter, but I'll try to cram as much as I can into them.

This week has already been kinda screwy for the gym. I skipped yesterday because I needed to get my room straight for college. I planned on making up my missed workout today in between class and Tang Soo Do, but had to do some running around getting signitures for vaious things. I did get upper body in today, but no cardio. I'm sure things will smooth out after this week.

Hum, I realized today that it's very interesting watching the new girl. I think she's got a few touches of the frailty myth. First, her ki-ups are a little week, but she did just start doing them this class. I'll update on that. She also doesn't have much power while doing the Kee Cho Hyung Il Bo (first form). I didn't have either of these either when I began, but I do think I progressed a bit quicker. I think I have a different mentality than her. I think, in life, that she's been more focused on being a girl and being feminine. I say this because she made a comment while watching other men in the class practicing with aggressiveness. She said, "Boys will be boys." This statement implies that boys are aggressive because they are boys. Thus, I assume she believes girls are just naturally less aggressive. In any case, she has some certain gendered conceptions that have come across verbally and physically, i.e., through the restriction in her movements.

Master Miller taught me part of the next form, Kee Cho Hyung Ee Bo. Very similar to the first, but with higher blocks and one different movement (so far). He probably would have given me more, but I told him my brain was on overload from new classes. I really should have just learned the rest. I could have remembered it. I also learned the third "one step sparring" move. Both of these things are not required for my test, but I suppose he'll just teach me when he feels I'm ready to learn.

I still feel that, when working with the women in the class, I hold back, or appologize for possibly hurting them. I think I've gotten a bit better. I grabed the new girl's wrist tighter today and made her work harder to get out of my grip. But I asked her, when working on one of my hand escapes, if I was hurting her. I need to be more conscious of this! I still haven't asked the other lady if she had similar experiences with me. Oooh, but I just remember, last class, while working with a male memember, I also appologized for possibly hurting him. I know part of this is because I'm not used to having this type of physical contact with others. When I was working with the male student, I had to lightly kick him in the stomach. Occasionally I felt I hit him too hard and would appologize. I do find myself appologizing more with the women though.

Well, I'll leave off here for tonight. I have to do some homework. Won't be able to do Yoga tonight though. I think I'll be able to normally, but I'll have to consult my syllabi so I can figure out how much time I'll actually have. Good night!